RCIA & Confession

First off, the sacrament goes by several different names. The official one is, I believe, the Sacrament of Penance. Vatican II started the name Sacrament of Reconciliation. The longstanding name of common usage is, simply, Confession. Personally, I call it Confession. I’m just old fashioned that way, I guess.

I was very ill prepared for my first Confession, so I thought it might be helpful to get a few points out that might get lost in the shuffle later on.

The key to a good Confession is this: PREPARE! I had plenty of time to consider my first confession, but no encouragement to do so. As a result, a great opportunity was lost.

This is the opportunity – and it really needs to be seen as an opportunity – to confess everything over the span of an entire lifetime. Yes, it can be daunting, but it’s also very rewarding. Don’t sweat it if you can’t remember every little infraction. That’s not the point. The real point is to prepare your heart, and you do that by performing thorough examination of conscience.

I generally start my examination of conscience early in the day. I get out a list of things to consider, written in a prayer book I keep handy, and think seriously about what I have and haven’t done. I consider these things off-and-on over the course of the day. I drive to Church with Gregorian Chant playing if I can, or maybe some Bach. I go over this list again after I arrive at church and before I get in line. I try to consider everything, both evil that I have done and good what I have failed to do.

The object of this examination isn’t just to remind yourself of the sins you’re confessing. You want to set both your heart and your head in the right attitude. Remember your sins, yes, but also generate an appropriate contrition in your own heart.

When I went to my first Confession, I wasn’t even told the difference between contrition and attrition, much less that I had to be contrite to make the Confession really worthwhile. I didn’t find a good definition until a year or two later:

The first indispensable condition is that we be sorry for our sins. And not any kind of sorrow suffices; it must be sorrow for sin as an offence against God. What makes sin sin is not the damage, if any, done to others – which they might forgive us – but the disobedience to God’s law. For that only God can forgive us; and our sorrow must be directed towards him. Ideally it should be what is called “contrition” – sorrow for having disobeyed a good and loving God, to whom we owe all we have, who is entitled to our obedience. But provided we obey God’s command to confess to his priest, a lesser sorrow than that may suffice – sorrow for having forfeited heaven and earned God’s punishment. This is “attrition.” By itself it would not suffice, but by the power of the sacrament it can. -- Frank Sheed, Theology for Beginners

Confession is followed by the penitent doing an Act of Contrition. Most such acts are often lame in their wording. I’ll post the one I use later if anyone is interested. While the Act of Contrition is vitally important (to show the priest that you are truly sorry for your sins), a contrite heart is absolutely vital. You can’t fool God. I’ve gone to Confession with a strong sense of attrition, and come away feeling rather weak in my connection to God. I’ve gone in with a strong sense of contrition, and come away feeling great joy and relief. The difference is utterly stunning. If you come away feeling a bit flat, don’t panic. That’s natural too. In such a case, remember that it’s not how you feel that really matters, it’s how God feels that counts.

Lastly, if you forget some great sin lost in the depths of your past, don’t panic. In your Act of Contrition include something like, “For these and all my sins which I cannot now remember.” Something like that will help with things forgotten, provided that you put an honest and sincere effort into your examination of conscience.

Take your time and prepare. This can be one of the most glorious moments of your life.