I’ve been silent these past few days because of a computer problem…and the fact that I misplaced my password when the new software was loaded at stblogs.org. I am not great with computers. However, in those few days, a great many things have happened, some of which need to be discussed here.
First, the idea for this blog began before the final gavel fell at the ECUSA’s 2006 General Convention. In its original conception, there were actually three bloggers. For a variety of reasons, the three became one. In a fit of pride, I thought I might actually be able to carry on alone. Unfortunately, the time constraints that I had at the beginning are still there – and have gotten worse in a couple of respects. I find myself in need of help just to keep the place open, and such help has not presented itself.
Second, another thing that bothers me is the absolute need for me to know – almost literally – everything. Actually, I have no problem personally not knowing every aspect of Catholic teaching. But there are a great many people out there – including some people that have corresponded to me personally – that seem to think Catholicism itself fails if I don’t have an immediate and unassailable answer to a question that turns on a specific and hard-to-get-at point of medieval theology. It’s quite discouraging at times (and quite enlightening at others). It’s almost as if, because I can’t sum up the Summa in 500 words and do so in under a minute, that people outside Catholicism are more convinced of the rightness of their Protestantism. I’ve been told that point blank by a couple of people. That is not my intention.
Third, one thing that bothers me with the web in general, and blogs in particular, is that every man is an “expert”. There are truly some experts out there, but in reality, they are few and far between. I’ve never claimed to be an expert. I don’t know everything, but a couple of people have decided that Catholicism fails because I can’t answer a specific point to their liking. Sorry, but if you look at this blog – or any other, for that matter – as the final source of all things Catholic, then there’s something seriously wrong with your methodology and it’s likely something that I can’t fix. The Pontificator and Jimmy Akin are doing much the same thing that I am only better, and actually qualify as experts far more than I do (though you’ll have a whole lot more reading, you’ll get a whole lot more depth too).
To cap everything off, I’ve been under a great deal of stress for the past three months or so. In times of great stress my body falls into insomnia of one form or another. The lack of sleep in the past two weeks has been particularly telling. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I have a great life, thanks be to God, and there are good reasons for some of my lack of sleep that I really don’t want taken away (like the 9-month-old baby sleeping in the crib across the room). But there are times in the modern life where stress is more intense than at others, and this happens to be one of those times. Add this to the lack of help, and I doubt I can keep this going much longer. My concentration is already shot.
On the other hand, there seem to be a few people that have been genuinely helped by what they’ve read here. Even if I close it down, I’ll still help anyone via e-mail. Those of you going into RCIA, feel free to write down my e-mail (bottom of the right sidebar) and drop me a line any time.
There’s been talk – not much, but a little anyway – of writing a book. Something like “A Catholic Guide for Converts.” Maybe that’s an idea I should look into. Maybe that’s something that would be more useful. I dunno.
As thing stand now, I’m going to keep the blog open in an effort to discern where to go next. Hopefully, by this time next week I’ll have some kind of plan. If I do decide to close the blog, I’ll ask RC to keep it open through the end of the month to allow people to copy some of the contents.
(And, no, I don’t think taking a break is a realistic option. The stats I get don’t indicate a large-scale readership as it is, and a long break would hurt that even more. I’m not doing this just to see my own words on the web, so if there aren’t any readers here then it’s just as easily done via e-mail as on a website.)
